I am not enough people

On Sunday, I tried to explain Kurt Vonnegut to Don Julio. An impossible task, but I tried to sum it up by saying that the man seems write out many of the same thoughts that roil scattered and fragmented in my own head. He does it such miraculously bizarre style that I despair of ever being so clever. Then I remembered that marriage quote I think I've spouted at you all at least seven times each, but never actually given you to read:

"Okay, now let's have some fun. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about women. Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want: a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything.

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish people wouldn't get so mad at them.

Why are so many people getting divorced today? It's because most of us don't have extended families anymore. It used to be that when a man and a woman got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to.

A few Americans, but very few, still have extended families. The Navahos. The Kennedys.

But most of us, if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the other person. The groom gets one more pal, but it's a woman. The woman gets one more person to talk to about everything, but it's a man.

When a couple has an argument nowadays, they may think it's about money or power or sex or how to raise the kids or whatever. What they're really saying to each other, though without realizing it, is this: "You are not enough people!"

A husband, a wife and some kids is not a family. It’s a terribly vulnerable survival unit."

I think that pretty much says it all. We can't be all things to another person. We can't even be all the auxilliary things that person needs to be whole and complete. I don't think we ever could. Marriages might have lasted longer before this whole hippie liberation movement, but many of them were not particularly happy. Is the current state of things really so unanticipated? Is the divorce rate symptomatic of our time or just human nature?

Aristophanes, you are SO full of shit.

...Almost. Frankly, I'm too tired to explain this fully, so I'll just float it out there. We can only acheive perfection within a group. We can't imagine ourselves perfect by ourselves, even if others perceive us as such. We are only perfect to ourselves, only at peace when part of something. That's why we look for our non-existant other half. But even knowing this, forgetting the individual absolutely horrifies us.

Why?