Driving

I'm never going to get used to being almost hit by crazy drivers. You’d think French people would drive better, since they have to pay 800€ (1200 dollars) to take their driver’s test. Uh…buh…wha..? Worse, there are no do-overs. You fail the test, you pay another freaking 800€. This actually happened to DJ’s sister three times, which means she spent 48,000 dollars merely to have the right to drive a full sized car on the road. Holy shit, right? Can you imagine paying less for your new car than for your driver’s license?

Oh, the best bit is that out of an understanding of the financial burden this might pose on less fortunate citizens, it is actually legal in France to drive a mini vehicle (as in one of those weird two-seater half cars you see zipping around now and again) without a license as long as the speed doesn’t exceed forty miles an hour. Yup. ‘Cause you sure as hell can’t KILL SOMEONE going forty miles an hour.

It took Don Julio about five minutes to convince me he wasn’t kidding. He tried to defend this by pointing out that in Germany, there’s no speed limit on the highways. I pointed out that while that was insane, crazy is still crazy…a quality of which French motoring laws are the embodiment.

Anyway, I’m perpetually freaked out by how fast people drive here –especially near elementary schools and in school zones- and my constant fear of being hit is the only thing that has kept me from becoming a cripple twice over. Thank you, argumentative old man and harried soccer mom.